it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
