he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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