where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Green mimosas i think yes
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
