Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
