is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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