walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
