I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
