Yo dont text me then not text me
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
