why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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