you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
