Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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