I can text with my tongue
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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