Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
