now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
