you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I think i got beer on your cat.
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