love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
