Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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