this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
