I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
