I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
