Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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