that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
