What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
