Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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