so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
