his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
