he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I pour the whiskey from now on
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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