I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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