He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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