i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
