Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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