It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I have aggressive nipples.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
