who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
