is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
