so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
