Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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