She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
