you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
