Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i think my tv is drunk
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
