through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
