that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
