There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
