Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
