Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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