look no pants
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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