So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
