my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
