I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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