I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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