i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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