I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
