I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
